Where are you from?

I'd bristle whenever I heard that question. My answer was always a drawn out, Chicago IL, while I pointedly stared at the offenders and dared them to question me even further.

No.. (indulging smile) you know what I mean, where are you really from?

Making me admit my ethnicity was like pulling teeth. I prefer the direct, "What are you?" approach then the "Where are you from?" which implies that I'm still considered an outsider.

But, this year, I've stopped caring. Part of it was the boyfriend who's also Asian-American and who's never been bothered by the question himself. Most of it was that during interview season, my most hated phrase was the one question you could count on being asked by every applicant at least once.

I asked it myself more times than I could count. And ethnicity was the farthest from our minds. We wanted to know about which medical schools we were from and the places we called home. When we talked about programs, I was part of a new group, the American Medical Graduates. I was an "us" and the International Medical Graduates were the "them." And it felt good.

When I came home, I ran into an Asian-American MS2 on the streets. We started talking about food and he mentioned Chinatown.

Curious, I asked him, "Where are you from?" He look shocked. He spluttered. I could see his mind trying to wrap around the fact that another Asian-American, someone who should understand, was making him feel like he didn't belong.

I clarified, "I mean, are you like from California? Because Chicago's Asian food is pretty good, but Californian Asian food is probably a lot better."

I felt pretty good about myself. I had moved on. I was now just plain American and clearly this MS2 still had some ways to go before he could put together his fractured self-identity into something whole.

Then today, when I was purchasing the green book at the bookstore, the clerk asked me, "Where are you from?" I answered automatically, "Hometown, IL."

"haha no seriously, I mean, like where are you from?" I could literally hear the bubble burst. I felt like I was back at square one. But now that I think about, I've probably moved a few steps forward.

Since the Chinese Exclusion Act was repealed only in 1965, Asians are a new immigrant population. It might take a couple generations before we're considered an integral part of the whole. But, I have hope because while there are a lot of people who still consider me foreign, I've met a lot of other people who already consider me part of that whole. And when I automatically answered "Hometown, IL" instead of raising my hackles, I realized I considered myself part of that whole too.